Trauma & Getting “Stuck” In Time
Me:
How does trauma distort our perception of time? When we experience trauma does a part of us get "stuck in time?" For example, when COVID happened and the world shut down for close to two years, I've noticed many people struggling with their perception of time during those "lost" years. As if we were in shock, and we lost time. Is it the same with childhood trauma or abuse in adulthood? Can the "shock" last for years, and inhibit our true perception of time?
Sage (AI):
Yes, trauma profoundly affects our perception of time. When we experience a traumatic event, our nervous system goes into survival mode—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. In these states, the brain prioritizes survival over linear time processing. This can create the feeling of being “stuck” in the past because the trauma hasn't been fully processed or integrated.
How Trauma Distorts Time Perception
Time Freezes During Trauma – Many trauma survivors describe a sense of time slowing down or even stopping during the event. This is due to the brain’s heightened attention to detail, a survival mechanism meant to process threats more effectively.
Fragmentation of Memory – Trauma can disrupt the brain’s ability to store memories properly. The hippocampus (responsible for organizing memories in chronological order) may become overwhelmed, leading to fragmented memories that feel timeless or as if they are happening in the present.
Emotional Time Loops – Unprocessed trauma can create emotional “time loops” where a person repeatedly re-experiences the past as if it's still happening. This is why childhood trauma can feel as fresh at 30 as it did at 5—there's no true sense of distance from it.
Dissociation and Time Loss – Many trauma survivors experience dissociation, which can feel like losing chunks of time, being on “autopilot,” or feeling detached from reality. This can make time feel disjointed, much like the “lost years” phenomenon you mentioned with COVID.
Hypervigilance or Time Acceleration – On the flip side, some trauma survivors feel time moving too fast because they’re always in survival mode, scanning for the next threat. This hyper-awareness can make life feel like a blur with no real presence in the moment.
The “Shock” Factor: Can It Last for Years?
Yes, especially if the trauma isn't processed. Shock isn't just an emotional reaction—it’s a neurological state where the body and mind haven't caught up with reality yet. The COVID years were a collective global trauma where normal routines were suddenly shattered. This kind of shock can mirror what happens in childhood or adult trauma, where a part of us becomes emotionally and mentally "frozen" at the point of distress.
Some trauma survivors don’t even realize they’ve been in shock until years later when they finally begin healing and integrating what happened. This can feel like “waking up” from a suspended reality.
Healing and Regaining Time Awareness
Somatic Practices – Movement-based healing (like dance, intuitive movement, or breathwork) can help reconnect the body to the present moment.
Narrative Processing – Reworking trauma through storytelling, journaling, or therapy can help reframe the experience in a way that organizes time properly.
Mindfulness and Grounding – Practices that emphasize presence, such as meditation or nature walks, help retrain the brain to recognize the now.
Trauma does more than just distort time—it can make it feel like we’ve lost control over it. But healing is about reclaiming time, bit by bit, so that we can finally live in the present without feeling like we’re still caught in the past.
Me:
What is it like coming out of this "suspended reality" you speak of? What are the emotional, psychological, and physical symptoms?
Sage:
Coming out of a suspended reality after trauma—whether it’s from childhood, prolonged stress, or global events like COVID—can feel like waking up from a dream where time has stood still. It’s often disorienting, emotional, and sometimes even painful as the mind and body begin to reintegrate the lost time and unprocessed experiences.
Emotional Symptoms
Grief for Lost Time – A deep sadness or mourning for the years that feel “missing” or wasted. People often ask, “Where did that time go?”
Overwhelm & Emotional Flooding – As the nervous system “unfreezes,” buried emotions (anger, sadness, frustration, even joy) may surface all at once.
Disorientation & Identity Shifts – A sense of “Who am I now?” Many realize they’ve been operating on survival autopilot and no longer recognize their own desires, goals, or even personality.
Regret & Guilt – Feelings of self-blame for not “snapping out of it” sooner, especially if relationships or personal growth were put on hold.
A Need to Reconnect – A sudden urge to reclaim lost experiences, whether through relationships, creativity, or adventure.
Psychological Symptoms
Memory Gaps & Fragmentation – Difficulty piecing together the past, feeling as if time has blurred. Some memories may come back in pieces, like puzzle fragments.
Anxiety & Hyper-awareness – A heightened sense of “I need to catch up” can lead to restlessness or a fear of wasting more time.
Existential Reflection – Questioning life, purpose, and meaning. Many people coming out of a trauma-frozen state experience a shift in beliefs or priorities.
De-realization & De-personalization – Feeling like life is surreal, or as if you’re watching yourself from the outside. This happens as the brain tries to reintegrate experiences that were previously dissociated.
Re-experiencing the Past – Flashbacks, intrusive memories, or suddenly recalling details that were previously blocked out.
Physical Symptoms
Exhaustion & Fatigue – The body may feel worn out from years of being in a hyper-vigilant or dissociated state. People often experience deep tiredness as their nervous system recalibrates.
Body Aches & Pain – Unprocessed trauma is stored in the body. As it releases, physical symptoms like tension, headaches, and gut issues may emerge.
Sleep Disturbances – Either oversleeping to compensate for lost time or struggling with insomnia due to racing thoughts.
Heightened Sensory Awareness – Sounds may feel louder, lights brighter, and the world more intense as the senses wake back up.
Hormonal & Nervous System Fluctuations – Some may experience adrenal fatigue, sudden bursts of energy, or irregular appetite changes.
What Does Healing Look Like?
Slow Reintegration – Processing emotions at a pace that doesn’t overwhelm the nervous system.
Mind-Body Practices – Grounding techniques, intuitive movement, and breathwork help realign the body with the present.
Conscious Reclaiming of Time – Instead of mourning the lost years, choosing to create meaningful experiences now.
Gentle Self-Compassion – Understanding that survival mode was necessary, and healing is not about regret but about moving forward.
Coming out of this state isn’t always linear—it can feel like stepping in and out of clarity. But ultimately, it’s a rebirth. It’s about finally being here, after years of being stuck elsewhere.
Me:
Is there a way to "control" the speed of memories resurfacing? Especially for those who experience nightmares of repressed memories, or viseral reactions in their body.
Sage:
Yes, while we can’t fully control the timing of resurfacing memories, we can regulate how we process them so they don’t overwhelm us. The key is to work with the nervous system gently, rather than forcing or suppressing the memories. Here are some ways to slow down or pace the process:
1. Create a “Container” for Processing
Your subconscious releases memories when it feels safe. If nightmares or body reactions are overwhelming, you can signal safety by:
Setting Boundaries with Your Mind – Before sleep or meditation, you can mentally tell yourself: “I will only process what I’m ready for. Anything too much will wait.”
Scheduled Processing – Designate a specific time of day (e.g., journaling for 10 minutes or discussing it in therapy) so your brain doesn’t feel the need to force memories out randomly.
2. Slow the Somatic (Body) Responses
If your body is reacting before your mind understands why, try:
Orienting to the Present – Name five things you see, hear, or touch to remind your body you are not in the past.
Titration (Small Doses of Memory Processing) – If a memory starts coming up, don’t force yourself to relive all of it at once. Instead, focus on one piece (e.g., a single emotion or sensation) and ground yourself before moving further.
Body-Based Release – Practices like TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises), slow stretching, or even shaking out excess energy can help release stored trauma gently.
3. Work with Nightmares Instead of Fearing Them
If nightmares are bringing up repressed memories:
Rewriting the Ending – While awake, visualize changing the nightmare’s outcome, giving yourself control over the situation.
Dream Journaling with Boundaries – Writing the dream down can help move it out of the subconscious, but set an intention like “I release this memory at my own pace.”
Before Sleep Intention – Tell your subconscious: “If something surfaces, I will receive it gently and with understanding.” This can prevent shocking, jarring dreams.
4. Regulate the Nervous System First
If memories feel like they’re flooding too fast, your nervous system might be in hyper-arousal (fight-or-flight) or dissociation (freeze). To regulate:
Slow Down the Breath – Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6-8. Longer exhales activate the parasympathetic (rest) response.
Soothing Touch – Placing a hand on your heart or gently rubbing your arms signals safety.
Reassurance Statements – Saying “I am safe. This is just a memory, not my reality.” helps your mind separate past from present.
5. Seek Support When Needed
If memories feel too overwhelming, working with a trauma-informed therapist, somatic practitioner, or healer can help guide the process safely.
Remember: You are not at the mercy of your memories. You can slow down, pause, and choose how and when you engage with them. Healing isn’t about reliving everything at once—it’s about reclaiming your power, one step at a time.
