Losing the Light

How it feels to be without you,
is how it feels to be within you.

A field of illusions surrounds us,
feeling the splendor of all the love.

A space we know deep inside our hearts,
but we keep locked away and shackled.

I thought I knew what I was in for,
the false calm we sensed together.

A foundation built on lies we thought were true,
an incredible play, with misguided words of wisdom.

If I could see with the eyes I have now,
I would see the warning signs.

I was caught up, chasing the light,
running further away from the darkness behind me.

Inside this prison, I created an end,
an end to the madness I rejected.

So long spent craving peace, joy, freedom,
I overrode my alarm system, my safety.

My internal screams could not be muffled,
They reverberated off the walls until I listened.

Now, as the screams go silent,
my voice trembles, “You didn’t love me.”

My arrogance layered yet another veil,
I thought I was done battling.

But the soldier never leaves the war,
no matter what he does to silence the pain.

This story will never escape me,
I can’t run from the wounds.

To be face-to-face with my demons,
is to be home within my soul.

You taught me they were shameful,
and I should hide from my truth.

I’ve been stuck inside your inception,
living your dreams without question.

I’m here, beaten down before you,
while you stay enamored in your glory.

I will rise here before you now, empowered,
no longer running from these parts of me.

This is now just a memory as stories will be told,
I will always hold mine close to my heart.

As I reflect on the lessons I learned,
while I was losing the light.